Lindsay Lohan Drunksy Blowhan turned herself in for the DUI / cocaine possession. And all I can say is …DAMN!
I was really hoping for the whole white Bronco, slow speed chase where the camera would pan in and she’d have had a stripper pole installed in the back seat. She’d be doing Olympic-quality crotch flashing and all the while the driver would be furiously funneling cocaine down some homemade tubing superglued to her nostril. She’d poke her crazy head out the window and yell, “Love me world. I am woman! Hear me…..hey, driver…..did you stop the coke flow? I will f’ing cut you! Nobody stops my coke flow! And where’s my vodka tonic? It better not have spilled because of your bad driving. Now what was I saying? Oh yeah! LOVE ME WORLD! I am woman! Hear me roar!â€
Well, at least that’s how the movie screen in my head saw it going down. That’s a scary theater….very scary.
Anyway, the boring details are that
Lindsay Drunksy walked in on her own and posted a $30,000 bond. She is now free to continue her pilgrimage to Skankonia without restriction. Oh joy!
Stay tuned for more details.
Picture via Showbiz Sky